i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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