she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I wish i was in the wii world.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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