I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
