If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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