You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
