Don't you send me to vm
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
