My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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