apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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