So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
so let's talk penis.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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