The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
