Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Sober January is a disaster.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
