Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
the raccoons are back...
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