you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
