Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
i believe in u and ur pee
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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