return my video game
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
