i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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