Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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