matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
