talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
