are you still at the devil's house?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize