We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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