My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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