what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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