and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
