Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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