He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
