I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
