I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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