That's intense
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
