Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
There are leaves in my underwear?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
