When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
