I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
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