If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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