She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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