Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
her facebook's as public as her vagina
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
