we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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