Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
