Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
We have started to decorate penises.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
