I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
