This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
