she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
