It was confusing and full of hummus
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
