then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize