White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
