So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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