Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Dick very happy bro
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