he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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