just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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