We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
