I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I looked at my own cervix.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
