If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
