I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
