i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
