Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
