Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
