You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
