You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
